The explosion, finally

~August 2017~

        It had been 5 years of me working a job that I hate. Most people can relate. Day in and day out of forcing myself up in the morning, miserably completing a half-assed morning routine…or none at all. It was a time where I was surrounded by a heavy aura of cigarettes and alcohol to make the day be over. Again, most people can relate. Why do we continue doing things that we hate? I asked myself this question constantly and came to a very simple answer: fear. We fear the unknown and a steady income helps to channel and tunnel vision that unknown into something manageable. I’ve found that doing this will limit not only your negative unknown explosive circumstances…but also your positive ones. What does this mean? The more security you have, the less opportunity you attract.

      I began meditation 6 years ago. The first day I began meditation was a simple thought while getting into the shower of “I’m just going to sit here and figure out all the weird shit in the world.” By “weird shit” I meant supernatural. And so here I am. I had been working and obsessively learning and manipulating the use of manifestation to figure out the key points of it. What works, what doesn’t work and most importantly WHY it works or does not. I studied it every day. I read as much as possible, whatever I could find. Good information, bad information…it didn’t matter. I am a student of the craft, not a follower of idols. I used it every chance I got, which was always. I questioned why I didn’t get what I want while maintaining a steadfast belief in that I must be doing something wrong and so I could get better. Humans are not meant to be miserable day after day…after day.

        So what was wrong? I couldn’t answer it. In fact, I didn’t answer it until after my life exploded with purpose. I would write down every morning and every night “My purpose is” and then whatever would come to mind. At first, what I would write would differ greatly from day to day. But after a year and a half…it became consistent. “My purpose is to heal Gaia.” I now suddenly had reason and motivation to no longer do what I was doing in the call center anymore and to go find a way to complete this mission, this purpose, although I had no idea how to even start. I just believed. And as I kept believing my belief started to come out through my personality, through my words. It began manifesting itself around me as I saw myself pull further away from my job and closer to…something else, something better or at least different.

     Then, I got a phone call. I was invited to the Oregon Eclipse festival and he was buying the ticket. I said no. He said he already bought the ticket and he’s not giving it to anybody else so I should let him know if I change my mind. I said ok. 3 months went by. It was a week before the festival. I had decided not go. I was going to continue working in the call center and ya…I dont know where that would’ve went. Then I got a simple text from a friend.. “Are you going to Oregon Eclipse?” and I said “yes.” And down the rabbit hole I go. 

 

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