As I was going through my files, searching for my birth certificate (found!! :D) I found this piece that I wrote about my “why” or my purpose if you will. So I thought I’d share:
My why is because I am tired.
I am so sick and tired of doing the things I don’t want to do. Please don’t mistake this for laziness. I will do one million things I don’t want to do to get one million and one things that I want. But I am tired of trading my time, my days, my years …to survive. I want to be able to travel the world. Yes, aimlessly. But with the message of love. To change the hate and depression that is so rampant in this world. I love you. Yes, you. It is important to love and a 9-5 job that never gets me anywhere plants a deep seed of detest in my soul. I detest being told where to be and when to be there. I have my own heart, my own mind, and my own message of which to speak. If you tell me to be there …and I am there …then that is my decision, of my own accord. I am a limitless entity. I grow tired of having my fire extinguished by entities that want to use me for my time. I want something to call mine, my own. I own it. I made that. It would not be there if it weren’t for me. Why? Because I am tired. I am tired of working endlessly to die as something that will only be missed for a minute and the rain of the next day will wash away the small footprint that was left. I wish to leave a crater. Break away and break down the negativity to build up something enormous. Something that builds people up. I want someone else to look at it and say “I can do it!” Why? Because I am tired. I am tired of feeling myself getting older, but not any better. I am tired of working harder, yet not any richer. I am tired of being looked at as someone who can’t, who is barely holding themselves together. I am tired of being tired. I want to have the energy it requires to build a machine. I want to live a life people are envious of so they can ask me “How?” and I can show them how. Why? Because I am tired. I am done being tired. Why live a life not shooting for the stars? If you can see it, you should shoot for it. I am tired of robbing myself and the world of my potential. I have the heart and I have the tools and it is time to put them to work. It starts today. Why? Because I am tired. I am tired of being nothing. Don’t ever let someone tell you “You’re doing well!” when you know that you can do better. Don’t ever let someone tell you they’re proud and don’t be so hard on yourself when you know that you must be harder.
There’s a better life to live out there…and it’s just around the corner.
I just want to get fucking high. Look, I’m just tired, that’s all. I’m tired of waking up every morning and for every second of my day I’m beating endlessly against this seemingly impenetrable fortress of ignorance that all of society appears so intent on hunkering down within.
And I’m angry. I’m angry that no matter which way I turn there is corruption, greed, and self-serving behavior filtered through every fiber of society from the very top to the very bottom. I’m not trying to be Noble. I just want to enjoy life and do it in a way where there’s no fucked up shit going on in the background.
I’m angry that people treat investing like going to the grocery store where they’re just looking for the best deal for them and don’t know and certainly don’t seem to care how these corporations are manufacturing their products. Like Apple having claims of child labour and here’s another article…including Samsung and Sony. In this article it states that “Apple is not directly responsible” but that’s the point isn’t it? We aren’t ‘directly’ responsible as the consumer but purchasing the product is still fueling the demand which fuels the practice. So these companies are now running “rigorous audits” to ensure their raw materials aren’t getting sourced by underage labor – after getting caught for it. *initiate slow clap* And it’s not a surprise that these companies aren’t bothering to ask where the materials come from to make their devices. Why? Because the consumers don’t ask.
I’m angry that people are consuming cane sugar and are ignorant to the fact that children are working on sugar farms in mostly life-threatening hazardous conditions for $3.50 a day. Our drinking of Coca-Cola is supporting this. Coca-Cola is the largest purchaser of sugar in the world – yes, yes they are putting money towards removing children from the fields and putting them in school. But these companies aren’t taking the effort towards finding out where their products are coming from proactively and its because WE are not taking the effort as the consumer to find out where these products are coming from. If we did, they would. Because someone went out and found out and reported it and now people care. Now companies are doing something about it. But if we just keep consuming these things and remaining ignorant on an individual level eventually the corporations – who mirror our actions – will also forget about it. And then chop chop chop away goes the child at the sugar cane. Here’s another article.
I’m angry that we still use plastic bags in grocery stores in the U.S and Australia has reduced their plastic bag usage by 80%. I’m angry that it took so long for a hemp bill to get approved and now we can finally start working towards making packaging out of hemp instead of plastic. Did you know plastic is a byproduct of oil? On a sidenote about oil – The U.K has announced that by 2040 diesel and petrol will be BANNED. Ya. What are we doing over here again?
I hear people in India talking about the trash problem and completely missing the point. They say “Lets start a program to pickup the trash in India!” and then what? Put it in a big pile somewhere like we do in the U.S? We should be ABLE to throw our trash on the ground because everything we make comes from the earth so we should be able to return it to the earth. But being the genius little humans that we are we’ve managed to create products that don’t biodegrade for 450-1000 years and takes 1.5 million barrels of oil a year to produce our water bottles – just our water bottles – not to mention whats burned to transport them. Mom and Dad – please look at this one. Another source claims it takes 17 million barrels of oil. Whatever. Either way – it’s a lot. I’m not gonna even get into the fact that of how it takes 3 times the amount of water to make the bottled water.
Do you guys get it?
We need to wake up.
…don’t go back to sleep…
People are going back and forth
across the doorsill where the two worlds touch
…don’t go back to sleep…
What’s up guys! Hope everything is going sweelllll on your side of things. Just popping in to drop a line and update on the up and coming events of Michael. Woo! Adjusting to life in Canada on a farm has been a trek for sure. I have absolutely fallen in love with Bee’s family. They are so much fun! ahh you have no idea, but maybe you do! Perhaps I will get some pictures of the events and happenings of family gatherings because they are just so exciting. Haha!
Anyways, we have new life on the farm! 4 baby chicks (no new hoes though, that was just for fun) The little black one is sunshine and the one behind her i believe is Marble? Marble might be the one looking at you in the picture. And the one in the back with his head poked up (we think its a rooster) is Hope. Ah and whichever on is not Marble is Ducky! 😀 Hope was the first born and we were hoping for more 😉 So now we have baby chicks to take care of and they are just so cute. They just go meep meep chirp mee meep and eat and poop alot. You know, baby stuff.
Ive been working more on my meditations and focusing on myself quite a bit. The working on the farm I’ve still been doing tons but took a step back about one day a week to really focus in on my Self and get my sacred circle setup and get to work on my own progress. A story in itself to unfold! more details coming as the days do.
The farm work itself is nice. We are getting so much done and we just finished our garlic harvest. All the garlic hanging in the barn is just so beautiful. It really has a special type of energy. I’ll get you guys some photos of this too. It’s so feely. And it also makes you think of vampires when you see so much garlic hanging hahah. But ya, farms doing splendid. This saturday we go to market again and do some vegetable salespeople stuff. It should be fun and our weekend is paaacked but I’ll save pictures for that and use less words.
The opportunities opening up are big and small. On the small side I’m waiting for a response from a Vipassana organization about 4 hours away in Egbert (or Barrie…something or other) to go to. Ive been meaning to go into Vipassana but it’s taken awhile to manifest a space where I am secure in all ways and also able to take 10 days away. I had the opportunity 2 other times in the last year but did not take advantage but I am now full steam ahead. I, myself, am absolutely amazed at the increase in energy and motivation I have to do things and get out in the world and experience it. I canoed a canoe a week ago and that was so fun! Just wanted to pop that in there.
I suppose the big things include looking towards the future and what the winter holds for Bee and I. We are perusing different options in regards to regenerative farming and possibly regenerative agriculture but the intensive vegetable farming again…im not so keen on. We are more interested in the food forest aspect of land and so thats where our sights lie. On Sunday we have an interview with Jim and Fiona who are on a piece of land in Portugal in need of volunteers. They are growing 1 or 2 food forests on the property with regenerative agriculture and a minimalist mindset. I used to want to be a minimalist to work a job and see how much money I can save but I actually just feel much more whole using less than the amount that my western consumption oriented mind is used to using. I went from 20-50+gallons of water (American showers use about 2.1 gallons/min) for a shower to 1/4th of a 5 gallon bucket. Pretty awesome.
Still playin guitar, still drawing pretty things, and we’re writing a book! I am so at peace but also so busy and I would like to find a better serving balance for that. I am trying to now allow myself to be so stimulated in the physical environment but I will admit it is difficult with so much going on. We will work together on this as I am sure everyone is seeking more balance in their lives ❤ Grant Cardone says “Fuck balance, I want to blow my life up!” …like blow it way up and be super successful and sell 100,000 houses instead of 10 in a year, things like this. But I feel like when you get to the place you feel you need to be you still will seek that balance. Blowing it up is fine if you’re not where you want to be and I’m not talking about Ferraris and mansions…just getting out there and living life. It can take a lot. But I can tell you… it takes more mindset than money.
Peace out ✌☮
I kept believing they think too little. I keep writing my goals, my purpose and doggedly attack the information in front of me through books and hands on experience that I can attain through those around me. Coming to be with Bee and meeting her family has been a blessing and has skyrocketed me towards the person I am working on becoming in a monumental way. The welcoming, the support, the love that I feel here is so true and pure I could cry. Oh, and Bees dad, Jean, is a badass.
I arrived in Toronto where Bee picked me up and we went off to Ottawa and met her brother, Sam and his brothers girlfriend…Sam 😀 haha. Sam and sam. They get called Sam squared sometimes. Its quite awesome! for sake of confusion we call Sams girlfriend Sami 🙂 Also in Ottawa I met Bees friends Brett and Noel who are running a farm in Ottawa and have had some tough challenges this year. The biggest one being the fact that they are running a farm just the 2 of them that was setup to at least require 10 workers. So they are a bit swamped. We decided to stay in Ottawa an extra day to go to the farm and help them weed some carrots and it was definitely a good experience!
Here is a real cool experience. Are you ready?
Bee and I were walking down past the Parliament (our White House) along the river and as we were walking I turned to Bee and said “I have this feeling that Im going to see somebody I know right now….but no. that is impossible.” and in the way she does she answers “Ah it is not impossible. Impossible is impossible!” and i replied of course. of course 🙂 So we kept walking up to the top of the hill to a statue overlooking the river and I climbed up on the little scaffolding to see over it and right below me on a little grass hill sits a man. And he looks like Guilleme (Gee-ohm) and I am floored. The last time I saw Guilleme was in Hampi, India where we met and we went to the river and jammed together and drank some whiskey and on the way back we had the pleasure of seeing just the eye of the crocodile before he sunk beneath the pond. Fuck.
Anyways, I yell “Guilleme!” and he turns his head and stares at me and I see the incredulity in his eyes and he turns back around and I know hes thinking “there is no fucking way.” I am also thinking “there is no fucking way” and am still not convinced that it is Guilleme. Theres just no fucking way. And I crane my head to the left to see the item next to him, thinking its a guitar…and if it is…its him. and it was. “Guilleme!” I yell as I jump down in excitement and start moving towards him and he looks again. “Is that you Guilleme? No way.” and he says “The fuck, man, how the fuck…what the…how…why…what are you doing here man!?” and I just laugh and laugh and laugh and hug him so tightly and am nearly crying so happy to see this brother of mine. We talk and talk and I introduce Bee and Guilleme and I pick up his guitar and play and Bee and Guilleme talk and laugh and Im staring at the bridge and as I am staring at it I remember Guilleme and Mel and Josh telling me about this bridge and how they just cross this bridge to see each other. And they tell me this in India. What a fucking trip man. Theres nothing else like it, Im telling you. Fuck. To Guilleme!
Now I am at Bees Parents house (Jean and Josée) and they have been wonderful! I met Jeans parents as well and also Jons brother and we had a nice gathering last night and I just feel so part of the family it is unreal. Ah life has been quite a blessing. MMMM and the FOOD! God damn Bee is a good cook and it is all organic and vegan and yummy and scrumptious and mm mm mmmmm. Fuck, guys. It is only going to get better too. How? I never know how to answer that question although that seems to be the one always asked. Faith, my Brothers and Sisters, faith.
I Love You!
P.S we are now off to the River & Sky Festival to be in the bush for the next 4 days. River & Sky is an ecologically conscious festival with folk tunes and workshops for all sorts of things. Au Revoir!
I read something the other day “Hampi is a place where if you’re not careful a few days can easily turn into weeks.” I laughed as I was already at the point where days had turned into weeks. I’ve been learning so much, guys! The world is really wide open, man. I feel elated, wide open…free, man. I don’t see any end in sight, in fact my plans are naturally coming into fruition. The temporary aspect of travelling…temporary friends that last forever…temporary connections…fast pace…move when you want..be where you want..with who you want…when you want. The world we live in puts a lot of fear into us. Makes us feel like we can’t do it or we’ll lose everything if we don’t hold on to it for dear life. I just let go of everything and let my cup empty. and man I had some sour milk in it before I was holding on for dear life but now its something like Holy water. Aghh I can’t find words to express such the way it is. Ive learned so much of where to go to make money and where to be to complete my goals. Like clockwork.
As I go along I find new ways to make money, my creative energy is blown up out of proportion and the encouragement I find to fall in love with my music and myself is out of this world. The things people say, the way they feel in their eyes. Its so alive, man. People just living from their heart and speaking from it too. If you had to experience anything I’d tell you it’s this. Freedom, man. Every step you take is a step YOU take. Not one that’s expected of you. You go the direction you choose. You be who you want to be. Nobody can tell you how to live, what to get, where to be, or who to love. I used to operate from such an attachment to safety and always being ok for tomorrow that I couldn’t be ok for today. You know what I mean. Now I walk free, man, and Ima just keep walkin.
Soon I will be on a desert riding camels in Jaisalmer, and getting colored in the streets of Pushkar during the Holi festival and trekking into Dharam Shala to play music with the Ganges. Life is beautiful, man.
Edit: Ahh, man I had to pop back in and drop a line about Chris from London. He’s a well put together chap that plays some real smoooooth jazz. We play together and I can feel the streets of London carrying the notes into our world. When we’re done playing he says “That was some great noodlin there man, very well done.” Just read it in a London accent and you get the full experience. Ciao!